Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
