I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
