hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
