so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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