Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
