i may or may not be watching the land before time
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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