the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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