You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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