my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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