Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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