Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
