u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
