my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
