i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
