what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
