No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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