Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
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