Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
they're like a gay fantastic four
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
