i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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