White coat. Heels.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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