he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
