Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize