Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
