Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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