Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
