I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
