i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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