I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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