Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
