Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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