I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
