For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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