Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
