i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
