i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
