Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
