so explain again why im purple
no
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize