i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
