if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
