I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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