Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet

(330): View more from Ohio

I'll alert the authorities

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!

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(702): View more from Nevada

shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?

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(410): View more from Maryland

As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.

(443): View more from Maryland

im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step

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(847): View more from Illinois

Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.

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