Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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