I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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