she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
