You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
