Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize
