Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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