I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
