Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize