highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
