Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
