And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
