Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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