Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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