I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
