Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
