glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
dude. I can hear the air.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
