This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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