I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My dick has a subreddit
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
