oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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